Be Nice

I was having a discussion with co-workers about how it seems that mean people always get the upper hand. This may be true in a basic sense but mean people don't have to hurt us. It depends on your understanding of the situation.
Some general traits of a “Mean Person”:

• Attacks you in some form physical or emotional
• Takes something or blocks you from something
• Disregards your point of view
• Disregards your feelings
• Selfish

How To Survive a Mean Person



What is being attacked?
I bet that your ego is being attacked. Think about it. Does he call you fat, lazy stupid, ugly? Are you being put in a group or removed from one? Usually a mean person attacks your ego because thats what they have built up in them selfs. We all know bullying builds ego. Ego is an exaggerated idea of self.


Why does it hurt?
It hurts because you don't let go and/or because you have an exaggerated view of self (don't worry %99 of people do).  If you treasure the same meaningless things as him then they can be hurt. Bring yourself to reality. Your worth does not come from how cool you are, how much money you have or what you look like.


What can you do to change this?
Attachment is the root cause of all suffering, find what you cling to and learn to let go. First thing to do is let the past be the past. That situation happened do not dwell in it; use the present to start a path to happiness.


“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”  --Buddha

Try to understand that the mean person cannot hurt you without your help. This will take a big change on your part. The hurt is inside you, you have to change if you want to defeat it.
Understand the real path to happiness. The path to happiness is with kindness, love and understanding. Good actions bring good life.


"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.”  --Leonardo da Vinci

We might what to get back at the person who hurt us. This idea is false and stems from wrong view. If you get back at them, it's just ego building not mind building. A ego has no real value and can be built up only to fall down once again. Instead find peace, build your self control, concentration and compassion. I always say to myself :

“what is your peace worth” Not world peace. Just the calmness of your mind. Its a precious thing, why give it up for a fool?


“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” --Buddha

Know the signs of abuse and get professional help.